When Times are Tough

 Our son is now four years old. It feels like a blur from newborn to now. So many feelings, emotions and changes. 

My life is so good. I am beyond blessed in more ways I can count. But can I be honest? Can we be real for a bit?

I don’t care what anyone says. Marriage is hard. Life is hard. Sure, having five to six figures in your bank account looks great on paper-but does it truly bring you happiness? 

I mean-yeah that sounds great and all. If I had six figures to my name in an account-not in assets I would definitely be less stressed about life in general. But does anyone ever tell you about owning your own business with your spouse? WHILE raising a kid AND adding on to your house all at the same time?! Wow! Recipe for disaster am I right?! 

Social media is great. I can keep up with my family and friends and see updates of their life. But…who actually posts the not-so-pretty parts of life? Um…this girl right here and probably 97% of the population. Because social media is an escape right? It helps us zone out from “real-life.” 

I’m not knocking anyone here. No jabs towards anyone in my contacts list or anyone else for that matter. But, I feel that navigating adult life in this generation isn’t as easy as it was 20-30 years ago. Maybe that’s just my opinion. 

I’ve been faithfully married to my husband for over 7 years now. We have been self employed for about 6 of those years. When I tell you that it’s hard to be married and run everything together-even if it’s separate to some extent-it’s hard. We don’t have financial advisors, or a secretary to handle our affairs. We have a CPA that files our stuff and an insurance agent but that’s about it. We do the brunt work. The receipt keeping, bookkeeping, equipment maintenance, scheduling, part ordering, mechanic work, paying bills & notes, checking emails, mail sorting the list goes on and on. Not to mention, having our son enrolled for only 10 hours a week in a preschool and not a lot of outside help on the daily. I do plan to homeschool, which I know will be a challenge in itself but it’s something I am passionate about and feel the Lord calling me to do so. 

No marriage is perfect. No human being is perfect. And absolutely no one (I don’t care who it is) has their shit together. We all struggle in one way or another. 

What I will tell you-is I can’t imagine living in this world partner-less. As many times as I’ve wanted to throw my hands up and call it quits, I take a step back and truly take a good look at all of the prosperity and goodness I’ve been blessed with. 

God NEVER tells us it will be easy. He tells us He will never forsake us. 

All I’m going to say, is…I hope whoever reads this, knows my heart while writing this. I’ve struggled knowing whether to fight for my marriage or to throw my hands up and say I’m done. I think that’s a pretty normal thing though-we just don’t ever read it or hear it from someone else. I’m here to tell you, your marriage is worth fighting for. There’s good and bad in everyone and no one’s life is perfect. It may seem so from pictures, but people put out there what they want to portray. This is my honesty post. To hold myself accountable, and to share a real perspective on life and marriage. 

Ultimately, I know God honors marriage. He designed it. And He loves children more than anything, they are sacred to Him. You know what messes up a kid? A broken home. As angry as I can be toward my husband at times, I think about our son and would never want him to grow up living life separately from his parents. 

I applaud the individuals that can co-parent healthily. Every situation is different, and no one should stick it out if they are miserable-that’s not setting a good example of a healthy, thriving marriage. But to the marriages that are hot and cold at times-just keep fighting. Fight for your spouse, love them harder even when they’re unlovable at times. Fight for your kids to show them what a good marriage can be. Fight for yourself, to prove to the enemy he ain’t about to win and steal, kill and destroy you or your family.